Parents Can be so Embarrising
by Brittneyd.k
Summary: In this one, Em and Al are at the Ishballen refugee camp with Pride already in the boulder with Al. While talking Hohenheim talks to Em's and Al's friends. Unfortunately for Em the conversation topic is her dating life...well lack of one. Will she survive this embarrassing nightmare? Enjoy :)


Em makes it over to the Kanama away from everyone with Al in a huge boulder rock. She punched Hohenheim hard in the face when they got there.

"...Why did you hit me with your automail arm?" asks Hohenheim.

"It doesn't matter, you okay in there Al?!" asks Em.

"Yeah, I'm fine, did you hit Dad earlier?" asks Al.

"Sigh..yes I punched the bastard," says Em.

She sits in front of the boulder wondering what the next move should be.

"Did you say: 'dad'? I thought you were an orphan," says Greed/Ling

Hohenheim looks hurt by that statement that his children have been saying they are on their own.

"Yeah...I haven't heard of you have a father, just a mother…" says Scar.

"There's a reason for that!" says Em.

"Aren't you going to introduce him?" asks Fu.

"No," says Em.

She looks away watching the stars being stubborn as always. Hohenheim sighs turning to Greed who is the closest introducing himself as Em's and Al's father. Em turns back hearing him introduce himself. She can't say anything as she said earlier she wasn't going to introduce him to the group but she can't stop him. Hohenheim asks how old he is to which Greed says that the kid whose body he is borrowing says he is only fifteen.

"He's also a prince so he's got the looks and the money aspect," says Greed.

"Hmm..a a handsome prince huh, from Xing right?" asks Hohenheim.

"Right, you know a lot," says Greed.

"I've done some traveling to Xing, actually," says Hohenheim.

Em sits up curious so doesn't Al neither of them are used to hearing about his travels. They just listen, for now, they don't want to interrupt unless needed. Scar notices Em's change in attention but doesn't say anything. He just turns back to Hohenheim wondering what he has to say about the topic of Xing as it is near his old homeland.

"So you are Elric's father right?" asks Scar.

"Yes, I am," says Hohenheim.

"Emma, kind of looks like you," says Scar.

"I do not!" says Em.

"You have blonde hair, he has blonde hair. You have gold eyes, he has gold eyes," argues Greed.

Hohenheim rubs his head sharing a soft smile at that one.

"She's right on that one, she's got her mother's beauty by far," says Hohenheim.

Em turns red looking away until she sees Greed close to her, she backs up against the rock.

"Your right, she is really beautiful. I bet her mom was hot herself," says Greed.

"Don't talk about my mom like that! Didn't you're parents tell you to respect the dead?!" says Em.

"My bad, sorry I didn't realize she was dead. I just mean if you have her beauty she was really beautiful," says Greed.

He puts his hands up in defense, he thinks if she was a lot older…

"Thank you...Mama would have liked that…" says Em.

She blushes more the others look at her at shock they aren't used to this softer version of Em, it is actually really cute. Lang Fan and Foo even almost fall out of their tree seeing this side of her. She stops blushing looking at them confused on why the looks of shock.

"Ah..young love," says Hohenheim.

"What?! I don't love him! I barely know him!" says Em.

She looks at Hohehenheim pointing at Greed.

"Honestly, you can't do better than a prince he can take care of you after I'm gone," says Hohenheim.

"Hey! Don't sell me out like that! Ain't I your daughter?! You can't just sell me off like that!" says Em.

"Didn't you just say he wasn't your father?" asks Scar.

"Not the point! He says I am his kid and he's trying to set me up with someone he hasn't been in my life for ten years! He can't just tell me to marry this idiot!" says Em.

"That's a bit harsh…" says Greed.

He gets up and sits next to Hohenheim crossing his leg on his knee.

"Big sister, that was harsh," says Al.

"Hey! Whose side are you on?!" asks Em.

She turns toward the rock angrily hoping that she was looking directly at Al for that.

"I'm sorry but it was harsh, and dad's right you wouldn't do better than a prince," says Al.

"Hey! Don't sell me too..come on were supposed to be family," whines Em.

She turns back to the group pouting that even Al was on Hohenheim's side.

"I wouldn't knock it, your cute and spunky," says Greed.

"Ew...didn't you just call Ling a kid? So I'd be way too young for you.." says Em.

"I am but the kid isn't your fifteen right? And if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out," says Greed.

"Oddly, you haven't seen anyone, sis," says Al.

They all look between Em who is all sorts of red and the rock where Al is. Even Pride stopped hitting Al's head to look between the two.

"It isn't odd that a girl my age isn't seeing anyone..and hey you aren't seeing anyone either!" says Em.

"I don't have a body! You do, and I'm fifteen! It isn't odd for someone my age not to date anyone, you are sixteen and haven't been on a single date," says Al.

"Shut up!" says Em, turning bright red.

She kicks the rock hard hoping that Pride wasn't there aiming for Al. Al knew of course but doesn't say anything other than hopeless mentioning that her sour attitude is probably why she hasn't had a date yet.

"I don't want to date! There isn't anything wrong with me not wanting to date! The main goal is to get our bodies back not get me a boyfriend!" mentions Em.

Scar puts his hand to his chin sitting up in a matter of factly manner.

"You know a young woman your age should be thinking of marriage at your age, before you know it you will be an old maid..your father would be worried and stressed out," says Scar.

They all nod agreeing to that Em is reaching that age. She points out that Lang Fan is around her age and asks why no one is jumping down on her. Lan Fan without missing a beat mentions that in her country that because she's a bodyguard that she needs to push off the idea of marriage because it would compromise her duty to the prince. Which everyone sees as a good point as in different countries the age limit would be different especially determined by the placement of the woman. Em mentions how that's unfair as she is taking care of Al so that should be reason enough to not see anyone.

"I wouldn't mind staying at the hotel alone big sister if it made you feel any better, I would even stay with Major Armstrong. Would it be so bad for Dad to set you up?" asks Al.

"Yes! He's been gone for ten years and that's weird!" says Em.

"Actually in some countries, it would be common for the parents to set up their daughters," says Lan Fan.

"We aren't in those countries! Maybe I haven't found anyone! What makes you say the old geezer would be able to find one? As I said: I don't want to date!" says Em.

"We just marked off all the reasons why not, Al just said he would stay at home and would be alright on his own," says Fu.

"...He's not my type.." says Em.

"I didn't know you had a type," says Al.

"If not Ling who do you like? There has to be one guy that you like or who likes you," says Greed.

"Don't be stupid.." says Em.

"Not even Wyn?" says Al.

"The Rockbells, son?" asks Hohenheim.

"Yeah! They like each other," says Al.

"We do not!" says Em.

"Do so, he even asked her out once!" says Al.

"We were kids and I turned her down!" says Em.

"Because you said boys are gross! Do you like girls?" asks Al.

"What?! Of course not!" says Em.

"Then you like boys," says Al.

"So?!" says Em.

She just realized what she said and bangs her head on the rock in front of her.

"She does like boys," says Greed.

Em turns toward the crew in a matter of factly state.

"So what?! Yeah, I like boys! It doesn't matter, I don't want to date!" says Em.

"She sounds defensive, maybe she has a boyfriend?" asks Lan Fan.

"I don't have a boyfriend," says Em.

The group gets together ignoring Em's statement not believing her.

"Maybe it is this Wyn, guy," says Greed.

"I am not dating him! He's just a childhood friend. We grew up together that's all," says Em.

"Maybe it's someone in the military," says Scar.

"Ew! They are all much older than me!" says Em.

"I was a lot older than your mother, not creepily older just older," says Hohenheim.

"..I'm not Mama...I am not dating anyone in the military...why would I?" asks Em.

Hohenheim walks over putting his hands on her shoulder creeping out Em a little bit.

"You are part of the military and they could take care of you once I'm gone and I want to make sure they take care of you," says Hohenheim.

"...I don't want to date someone old enough to be my dad…" says Em.

"What about that Roy Mustang fellow?" asks Fu.

"He's the flame alchemist, right? He's only ten years older so he wouldn't be near your dad's age," says Scar.

"Can we please stop talking about this! And Hohenheim can you stop being a bastard for two minutes? You do not get to decide who I date. I don't want to date someone I just meet, and I don't want to date the Colonel, he's my superior it wouldn't be allowed and he's too much of a pigheaded womanizer," says Em.

They all look at each other in a "she has a point" manner about Mustang. They all think some more while Em gets Hohenheim's hands off of her sliding down to the floor.

"Are you alright?" asks Hohenheim.

"I"m just really annoyed," says Em.

"Hohenheim, what would you say to your daughter dating that Wyn guy?" asks Greed.

"I remember him, I wouldn't mind he would make a good match for Emma if he took care of her," says Hohenheim.

"Papa!" says Em.

They all freeze hearing Em call Hohenheim something other than bastard or his name. She covers her mouth and groans sinking into the ground more. She groans in her hands before looking up at the group rubbing the back of her head.

"Did you just call him, 'Papa' big sister?" asks Al.

"What no!" lies Em.

"You did, I just heard it myself," says Fu.

"I heard it too," says Pride.

"...Isn't it past your bedtime?" asks Em.

Pride just looks at the rock in a "really?" way, and goes back to being silent.

"She used to call me that all the time it was even her first words," says Hohenheim.

"Hey!" says Em, turning red.

"That's sweet," says Scar.

"I was a kid.," says Em.

"You just said it," says Greed.

She sighs looking away turning red bringing back her rather cute ways back. She doesn't have a comeback for that as she just tried to deny it earlier and it didn't work.

"What would be too old for your daughter, sir?" asks Greed.

"It would be in the twenty range for sure, but I would love it if she dated someone around her age. She's young she should be out with someone her age. She's still a little girl after all...I mean to me she is.." says Hohenheim.

"Stop..please.." groans Em.

"It's just small talk and, weirdly, you haven't been on your first date. If you want, I could take you out," says Greed.

"Ew, I would rather date a tree, it would be younger than you," says Em.

Greed stays there stunned faced that he just got turned down by a girl, he's never gotten turned down before.

"Shouldn't you be trying to get with older women, not kids? Pervert.," says Al.

"I was just trying to give her a date to remember, and she would be going out with Ling not me, so princy boy would have his first date," says Greed.

"Are you all deaf? I just said not too long ago, I do not want to go out with Ling!" says Em.

She crosses her arms not wanting to get up.

"You didn't say no to Wyn though, you just said that you are childhood friends," says Scar.

"That would mean you wouldn't mind dating him," says Fu.

"It does not! It means we are just friends!" says Em.

She gets up this time everyone can see the blush on her face that hasn't gone away.

"It would look like she does have a crush on Wyn," says Lan Fan.

She was relieved by this but didn't know why she wasn't sure of her feelings herself her heart was set on one goal: protect Ling even if it meant dealing with Greed.

"I never said I liked Wyn," says Em.

"You didn't say you didn't. I honestly wouldn't mind it..he sounds like a good kid...and a good head on his shoulders. Is he a good kid Alphonse?" asks Hohenheim.

"Yeah he is," says Al.

"I honestly wouldn't mind permitting him," says Hohenheim.

"...why are my brother and you deciding that I am dating Wyn?" asks Em.

They both turn toward her along with the rest of the group.

"We never said you were, but this does draw suspicions that you are dating him," says Al.

"I am not dating Wyn!" says Em.

"She's getting defensive again," says Greed.

"I am not!" says Em.

"Please tell me more about him, when did you like him?" asks Hohenheim.

She groans hitting the ground.

"That long huh?" asks Greed.

"No!" says Em, "It's none of your business anyway!"

"It is your old man," says Greed.

"He died a long time ago.," says Em.

They all knew that she meant to her he was dead.

"You did just call him Papa..." says Al.

"Whose side are you on?!" asks Em.

"I'm just saying wouldn't it be nice for Dad to walk you down the aisle?" asks Al.

"..When was I marrying him?!" asks Al.

"So when you see you're wedding you see it with Wyn?" says Lan Fan.

"I didn't say that!" says Em.

"My little girl getting married…" says Hohenheim.

"Daddy..stop you're embarrassing me.." says Em.

She instantly regrets calling him daddy as the group goes on that trip all night until she tells them to stop and that she is going to bed far away from Hohenheim, specifically going back to calling him Hohenheim. As she lays there on the rock she does think about her wedding but because she is stubborn she doesn't want to admit that she pictures Hohenheim walking her down the aisle to a man without a face but that man having Al as his best man.

The End.


End file.
